Thursday, January 13, 2005

Reason #24,567,333 to Hate the Royal Family

Prince Harry, spawn of Princess Diana and Prince Charles, went to a costume party dressed like a Nazi. Let's break this thing down:

(1) There are few occassions on which it is okay to dress like a Nazi. One is obvious. If you are a Nazi, who am I to tell you to dress any other way. If you're a nerd re-shooting Raiders of the Lost Ark in your backyard, it's okay to dress like a Nazi. And I might look past the fashion choice if you have some overzealous Night Porter fetish, as long as said fetish is contained to the privacy of your own home. Otherwise, yeah, it's not okay. And what the fuck is wrong with the hosts of this party? I don't care what worthless title you have or what you have no control over in the country where you may one day be king. You can't come into my flat dressed like a fucking Nazi. Sorry. No. Go back to Buckingham, eat a cucumber sandwich, comb the mane of your favorite pony, and suck my balls. In this same vein, it was also not cool for the PTA at my elementary school to propose having the kids come in as "their favorite black person" to honor Black History Month. Thanks to the protestations of my mother and a few others, this never happened, and my plans to come in black face and learn about fractions while playing Frederick Douglas were thwarted.

(2) People seem to be extra angry about this whole situation because Harry allowed himself to be photographed while he was dressed in Fuhrer garb. Here's the problem. This implies that because he's "Prince" Harry and that he's taken media classes, he's become intelligent or reasonable or caring towards his fellow man. These twits get credit for shit all the time, that a normal person would never get on the cover of People magazine for. William can swim! He can read! He can talk without drooling! Harry is obviously, either (a) a hateful moron, (b) that kid so desperate for attention he will do anything base or vile to get attention, or (c) both. What a sad little prick.

(3) This one's for Josh. I'm pissed that only Jewish groups are being asked what they think of this incident, as if Jews were the only people Nazis felt an urge to slaughter. How does the gay community feel about Harry's costume choice? Catholics? Oh, wait, how about the whole of Europe? Thankfully for Harry, he doesn't live in France. Then, he might be put on trial for this little incident.

(4) The English have now redefined the term, "wardrobe malfunction."

(5) Fergie wants us to give Harry a break. After all, he's apologized. She then goes on to say how "proud" Diana would be of Harry. Wait. What? Why? I feel a Dateline special coming on: Princess Di's Nazi Fetish. Otherwise, what the hell would she have to be proud of? And I love that now if you just say, "I'm sorry," all is forgiven. What house did these people grow up in? Have these people never seen an American sitcom? I can't imagine Jason and Maggie Seaver simply accepting Ben's apology for dressing like a Nazi and calling it a day. If that unibrowed mutant dressed up like Hitler, he would surely be grounded or be made to watch on of his brother's Left Behind films.


At 12:26 AM, Blogger Joshua said...

"And what the fuck is wrong with the hosts of this party?"

A good question. One which is surprisingly easy to answer. Please note that the "theme" of the party was "Colonialists And Natives." Now, Nazis were not colonialists, so obviously Harry still chose a costume that did not fit the theme, but if the Prince shows up wearing an off-topic costume instead of, say, that of a slavetrader in colonial Africa or an elephant hunter in India, who are they to argue?

As for how gays feel about a royal dressing up like a Nazi, well frankly we don't. Or I don't. What the fuck do I care what the scion of the despotic and reactionary English throne does? Thankfully, I was born gay in a nation that had the decency to expel the royals from it shores. My only regret is that they did not meet the same fate as the Romanovs.

At 10:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

for pete's sake, it was a COSTUME PARTY ! you fucken DRESS UP ! it's none of yer business how they decided to dress ! so why don't you just shut yer trap and stop raggin on ppl while keeping yer nose out of other ppl's business ! and who are you to set guidelines on when and where ppl are allowed to dress like Nazis ? huh ? who died and left all the decisions for you to make ? from what i've read on yer blog, yer one hella fucken bastard cracker jackin bitch !

At 11:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does it really matter what he wears? Has he not proved since, with his passing through sandhurst, that he's matured majorly? Can't you cut a young guy some slack? I really don't see what all the fuss is about. Yes, it was silly of him and, yes, if he stopped to think about it he would have realised his mistake and I don't think he would of done it, however, Nazi outfitts are some of the most popular fancy dress costumes sold in the UK, loadsa people wear them. Does that mean we're all uncaring facists?

And Joshua, how could you wish what happened to the Romanovs on anybody? To my mind that's worse than insincerely wearing an armband.

At 1:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the little shitbag should be put against the wall and shot.....No hang on shoot the fucking lot of them..that way we don't see anymore of this shit..And we save dodi's dad a bundle, because the guilty party are dead, bunch of leeching sspongers

At 3:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have never ever seen such poor english on here, I think most need to get thier head in a book!!!

At 3:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

AHAAA! you tosser. you spelled their wrongly who needs a bbok now! :)

At 3:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's a book you cunt!

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At 7:04 AM, Blogger pierce79 said...

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At 9:42 PM, Anonymous John said...

The precise functions of a royal family vary depending on whether the polity in question is an absolute monarchy, a constitutional monarchy, or somewhere in between. In certain monarchies, such as that found in Saudi Arabia or Kuwait


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