Friday, May 19, 2006

If Joey Chestnut loses, the terrorists have already won.

"This could be so critical to our sport. It's never good for the same athlete to win so many years in a row. The Fourth of July has been stolen from Americans because of Kobayashi's dominance and now America has someone who they can get excited about." - George Shea, Chair of the International Federation of Competitive Eating, after Joey Chestnut, a 22 year old civil engineering student at San Jose State, ate 50 hot dogs and buns in 12 minutes at the Las Vegas qualifier for the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest.

After what I imagine was a hearty belch or perhaps thirty minutes of vomiting, Chestnut echoed Shea's "patriotism": "I'm going to push harder on our Independence Day to take the title back. My brother is in the National Guard in Iraq and there will be a lot of people behind me."

And don't think Chestnut can't back it up. He's the reigning champion in eating pork ribs (5.5 pounds in 12 minutes), waffles (18.5 in 10 minutes) and jalapeno poppers (118 in 10 minutes). (But what about Pizza Shooters, Shrimp Poppers, or Extreme Fajitas?)

I just puked.

4 Comments:

At 2:58 PM, Blogger Joshua said...

that's one jalapeno popper every five seconds!

I'm still campaigning to get my beer-battered cum load record sanctioned by the competetive eating circuit. Bastards.

 
At 3:54 PM, Blogger Tim said...

George Shea and his cronies are either squeamish around beer battered flizz flazz or they're behaving like reasonable people. It's one of the two.

And, yeah, Joey Chestnut is for real. And he's not too fat. Any time a real big fat person challenges Kobayashi, they always seem to lose. The Fridge wasn't for real, but I remember reading that thing about the matzoh ball eating contest at Slate and the fat guy everyone was afraid didn't win. It's either average guys like Chestnut or skinny Asians for some reason. Kobayashi better start eating.

 
At 7:26 PM, Blogger Joshua said...

Yeah but Chestnut's pretty big. I mean he's not like the pie-eating guy from "Stand By Me" but he's tall and husky. And all the competetive eating ladies are fatties. And I love them.

 
At 2:31 PM, Blogger Mega Munch said...

Chestnut has definitely breathed new life in the Nathan's competition. Until now it has always been Kobayashi's game and everyone else was just gunning for second place.

That said, I think Koby will put down between 50 and 55 this year and Chestnut will come up about 4 dogs short.

 

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