If Joey Chestnut loses, the terrorists have already won.
"This could be so critical to our sport. It's never good for the same athlete to win so many years in a row. The Fourth of July has been stolen from Americans because of Kobayashi's dominance and now America has someone who they can get excited about." - George Shea, Chair of the International Federation of Competitive Eating, after Joey Chestnut, a 22 year old civil engineering student at San Jose State, ate 50 hot dogs and buns in 12 minutes at the Las Vegas qualifier for the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest.
After what I imagine was a hearty belch or perhaps thirty minutes of vomiting, Chestnut echoed Shea's "patriotism": "I'm going to push harder on our Independence Day to take the title back. My brother is in the National Guard in Iraq and there will be a lot of people behind me."
And don't think Chestnut can't back it up. He's the reigning champion in eating pork ribs (5.5 pounds in 12 minutes), waffles (18.5 in 10 minutes) and jalapeno poppers (118 in 10 minutes). (But what about Pizza Shooters, Shrimp Poppers, or Extreme Fajitas?)
I just puked.