Monday, May 22, 2006

Newsless news made better.

Sen. Hillary Clinton has an iPod:
"I've got everything -- a total smorgasbord."
Her mix includes such diverse material as Aretha Franklin's "Respect," The Beatles' "Hey Jude," The Eagles' "Take it to the Limit", and Gwar's "The Master has a Butt." Clinton loves to listen to her iPod when catching up on paperwork or when hitting the gym:
"Gwar's 'Babyraper' is especially good when I'm looking for that extra boost on the stairmaster. It really gets me going."
Some might be surprised by Clinton's iPod jones after comments she made (and later apologized for) at a recent event:
"The culture in which we're raising children really argues against hard work. It's a culture that has a premium on instant gratification. I grew up in a home with one TV set. Now, we've got children in ... middle class and upper middle class homes that, you know, they have TV's in their rooms, they have computers with the Internet in their rooms, they have iPods. I mean, they are totally connected. And, yeah, one of my party's kinda sorta platforms is to provide broadband access to every home in America, but I think there are ways to stop the poor kids from being such selfish pricks too. And not just by abstaining from sex. Let them have the internet and the computer games in their room, but cover the computer in a blanket. An electrified blanket only you, the parent, controls. After a few shocks, they'll learn their lesson. And they'll work harder, get better grades, and keep their underage hohos out of their underaged friends' hahas. And one day, they'll grow up and have other people write their life stories for them, because they'll be so busy, they just won't have the time to sit down, turn on a little 'The Master has a Butt' and put down on paper a record of their storied existence."
And, yes, to answer that question that's floating around in your warped little mind, she jogs to Anal Cunt.

1 Comments:

At 9:51 AM, Blogger Joshua said...

I hope you checked out Jacob Weisberg's fantastic analysis of HRC and Condolleezza Rice's playlists.
"Hillary Clinton is the least spontaneous of politicians, and this playlist suggests premeditation, if not actual poll-testing. She first indicates that she basically likes everything before coming to roost on classic rock and soul, which any baby boomer must identify with, lest she or he be branded terminally uncool. Hillary avoids, however, anything too racy, druggie, or aggressive, while naming tunes that are empowering and inspirational. On the world-is-divided-into-two-kinds-of-people question "the Beatles or the Stones," she, like her husband, finds a middle path: both. She names no Stones songs and chooses a consensus, universally liked, neither-early-nor-late Beatles tune, "Hey Jude." Hillary also manages a shout-out to racial diversity and feminism via Aretha Franklin, and she strikes a younger, socially conscious chord with U2. "Take It to the Limit," on the other hand, is such a lame, black-hole-of-the-1970s choice that it can't be taken for anything other than an expression of actual taste."

 

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